growing up,there were only 3 of us. mom,little sis and myself.yup,that's right--no dad. i was raised by a single mother since a very young age of 4. back then,i was probably too little to even understands what the hell does divorce means. i probably couldn't even spell the word yet. all i know is that suddenly,those awful fights that mummy and daddy used to have,had finally stopped. in fact,i remember hardly sees him anymore. much later,i learned that daddy had moved out. he doesn't live with us anymore. now there's only mommy and the little person inside her tummy. and then,we moved to a new state,mummy gaves birth and the rest is history. god is fair in his way.he takes away my daddy but he gives me a beautiful baby sister instead.
so,the three of us moved on with our life. sure,it was hard for me to live without a daddy but it was way harder for mom. her marriage failed,she was just 30 but she have to raise 2 girls on her own,she's got to find a job and she have no shoulder to cry on. however,she still make it through. such a wonderwoman. day by day,life keeps getting better. mom had landed herself a new job with a better pay while i finished my kindergarten years. my sister is happy and healthy,what more could we ask for? and suddenly,life without a dad wasn't such a big deal anymore. as a matter of fact,i quite like the way we were back then. all three girls and no worries about misplacing my undergarments or stuff like that. i even went to a girls school so it was fun with no boys around.
but then mom gain a few years older,i myself grow bigger and baby sister wasn't really a baby anymore. we all got preoccupied in our own ways. mom,with her works and the hunt for a significant other. me,with growing-up issues and all those homeworks. so baby sister was sent to live with gramps and granny. all that's left was the both of us. mummy and me. i still remember mom renting a very small room for us. i remembered it so well that i can even still smell the scent of the room. it was a tiny tiny room. barely enough space to fits us both. small,but cosy. there's a door that leads us to a petite balcony facing the back of another building. not much of a viewing pleasure. but that's where we used to do our laundry. sure,it's not even close to perfect but it was home. a home that brings joy to us.
however,it's not always rainbows and butterflies. it's reality and we have to face that sometime life can be mean as hell. there was always an awkward moments when questions about daddy popped out. the awkward moments where normal kids with happily-married parents won't have to go through. i used to cry a lot when i was much little. even now,i secretly still do. but everytime i shed my tears,i never expected anyone to wipe it off for me. mom have literally taught me to be stronger,to be independent,to not rely on other people too much. i guess i learned my lessons the hard way. mom would be to busy with her job,the house chores and the whole single-parenting thing so she really doesn't have time to cuddle or comfort me when waking up from the nightmare. sometimes,when i suddenly woke up in the middle of the night,the other side of the bed is still empty. i used to sleep alone,walk to school alone,eat alone and do homeworks alone. i know it maybe hard for people to believe me but i don't tell lies for fun. that's not the way i am and most importantly,it's not how my mom brought me up with. it might somehow affect the way i treat people. and believe me,today,i can honestly say that i only have 2 friends.i doesn't react well with strangers and i can be extremely rude to certain people. i've turned into quite a judgemental person too. how ironic,huh? even so,i don't blame my mom. i knew she had tried her best to raise me and for that alone,i am thankful.
so i guess my way of growing up differs from most of my peers but i think it's cool. the D word doesn't haunt me very much these days.btw,D stands for both Divorce and Dad. haha. nowadays things have worked out wonderfully for us. mom and i are practically the bestest friend ever. we gossips around,we talked about hot guys and it's really fun. sure,we got into fights and rows as i am the rebel one in the family but that's normal. 7 minutes later,we'll start talking to each other again. as for my biological father,he seems like he had dissapeared all along. i do visit his side of the family once in a while and they too had no idea where the hell he has been. and oh,just a couple of years ago mom had finally found her beau. i sure hope he's the right one. he's like 10 years younger than her or something. i don't know,and i couldn't be bothered to care. he seems like a nice guy and he spoils me with stuff. whatever it is,my mom's happy and i'm really glad for her. i even have a baby brother now. and he's just so adorable. i do love him to death. however this time,even if this marriage doesn't worked too, the three of us will be just fine. i know that for fact.
p/s: i love you,mom.i always do.
March 30, 2009
March 21, 2009
Coffee,Anyone?
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