No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Then you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse.
But let your love even with my life decay,
Lest the wise world should look into your moan
And mock you with me after I am gone.
Un Soneto, Número Setenta y Uno.
W.Shakespeare.
March 31, 2010
Its Not Always About The 18th.
March 30, 2010
March 22, 2010
Caramel Cream Frap.
oh bebeh, sing me Seaside and ai janji ai tak cari lain.
yer yanggg, ai tak tipu yu. ai janji okay. HAHA
Subtle,Not.
as i enter the small space some would call a room, i can even smell myself.
being denial, i refuse to admit that the scent still lingers on.
and it smelled of nothing, but pure sin.
March 17, 2010
Reminisce, Regrets And Everything In Between.
I was packing up stuff for Nilai when I came across some old stuff, some really interesting stuff that caught my attention. Photos, old CDs, movie tickets (yeah, I like keeping them), Birthday Cards, silly love letters (okay,sangat memalukan), scribblings and notes in all sorts of sizes and shapes. Going through all of these stuff really reminds me of the good old times and the not-so-good one. You know, kindergarten admirer, highschool friends, favourite teachers, childhood soulmates, crushes, sworn-dead foes, ex-boyfriends. Stuff like that. The journey's been a lil bit rough here and there but I've gotta admit that at times, I do miss certain moment from the past.
I miss our very own group of cliques during highschool. Alia, Myra, Wedges, Fazleen and me. The Lutchies, thats what we used to call ourselves. Skipped classes together and we never missed having recess together. 5 of us, promised to stick together after high school. We even planned our Uni applications, so that hopefully all of us are chosen to go to the same Uni. Heh. Talk about wishful thinking eh. I still remember every movie we ever watched together, oh how could I ever forget those laughters and tears we shed together. I do miss them every now and then,but I guess there's nothing I can do about it. We all moved on with our lives, moved on with what fate had in store for all 5 of us.
And then there's the ex-boyfie. A total jerk but hey we used to have really great time together. Khuzairy, you can be a major pain in the ass at times but I loved you. Well at least I love you enough to make it until more than 2 years. Never a romeo but understood me well. You do know how to make me feel important,and thats what I like about you. Demmit. Its been what, almost 2 years since the break-up but I still do missed the late-night conversations we used to have. It was fun. You'll listen to me all night long. Gila,orang suruh tidur taknak. Haha. We never had enough of ourselves, and oh among the stuff I came across was this familiar perfume bottle. It was his. Aishh.
Okay,moving on. There were tonnes of Birthday Cards from my childhood bestfriend, Shad. I love her a lot you know. We went to the same tuition center just to see each other. We went to different school so tuition was our only hope back then,even if it was addmaths. She'd make me do all those equations I really hate. She really looks after me. And oh Lissy-Boy. She was a part of me and Shad. We used to do everything together. The three of us. Lis will drive us around the town,hitting places you would never imagine,just for the fun of it. The beach, museum, photo booth, you name it. We've been there and done that. Oh they are my wildan. I really love them more than any other friends I've ever had but I sucked at showing my feelings. I never showed how much I cared for them. Silly me. I screwed up,big time. That was totally my bad. Oh god. I could just go on with this forever.
Hm,so there I was, in the red room of mine going through all of this stuff. Smiling, all by myself. Things are indeed way different than it were back then. I've met new friends and they are lovely all the same. Sure, some of them are still hanging in my life and others just coming back and keeps on asking for second chance. And you know what, I might actually give them what they wanted. A second chance. Because really,its what everyone needs, including me.
I miss our very own group of cliques during highschool. Alia, Myra, Wedges, Fazleen and me. The Lutchies, thats what we used to call ourselves. Skipped classes together and we never missed having recess together. 5 of us, promised to stick together after high school. We even planned our Uni applications, so that hopefully all of us are chosen to go to the same Uni. Heh. Talk about wishful thinking eh. I still remember every movie we ever watched together, oh how could I ever forget those laughters and tears we shed together. I do miss them every now and then,but I guess there's nothing I can do about it. We all moved on with our lives, moved on with what fate had in store for all 5 of us.
And then there's the ex-boyfie. A total jerk but hey we used to have really great time together. Khuzairy, you can be a major pain in the ass at times but I loved you. Well at least I love you enough to make it until more than 2 years. Never a romeo but understood me well. You do know how to make me feel important,and thats what I like about you. Demmit. Its been what, almost 2 years since the break-up but I still do missed the late-night conversations we used to have. It was fun. You'll listen to me all night long. Gila,orang suruh tidur taknak. Haha. We never had enough of ourselves, and oh among the stuff I came across was this familiar perfume bottle. It was his. Aishh.
Okay,moving on. There were tonnes of Birthday Cards from my childhood bestfriend, Shad. I love her a lot you know. We went to the same tuition center just to see each other. We went to different school so tuition was our only hope back then,even if it was addmaths. She'd make me do all those equations I really hate. She really looks after me. And oh Lissy-Boy. She was a part of me and Shad. We used to do everything together. The three of us. Lis will drive us around the town,hitting places you would never imagine,just for the fun of it. The beach, museum, photo booth, you name it. We've been there and done that. Oh they are my wildan. I really love them more than any other friends I've ever had but I sucked at showing my feelings. I never showed how much I cared for them. Silly me. I screwed up,big time. That was totally my bad. Oh god. I could just go on with this forever.
Hm,so there I was, in the red room of mine going through all of this stuff. Smiling, all by myself. Things are indeed way different than it were back then. I've met new friends and they are lovely all the same. Sure, some of them are still hanging in my life and others just coming back and keeps on asking for second chance. And you know what, I might actually give them what they wanted. A second chance. Because really,its what everyone needs, including me.
March 13, 2010
Did You?
Did you notice my fears?
p/s: Feeling a bit lost lately. I know its not the end of the world and I really shouldn't make a big deal out of it. I know things will be okay and I know I will be okay. I have to be okay. But hey,try putting yourself in my shoes for a moment, you'll know what it feels like. You know, its time like this that sometimes strangers are far more comforting than loved ones. Hm, I guess I am hitting rock bottom, alone.
March 11, 2010
March 8, 2010
...
The way you're looking in your sleep,
The way you're looking when you leap,
The strange illusions that you keep,
You don't know that I'm noticing.
NORAH SILVERBERG; NICK & NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST.
March 5, 2010
March 4, 2010
Lala Land Much.
I DON'T HAVE A LIFE.
Everyday I'll wake up at 10am to the screaming of AG,
grumble,check my hp and find my way out of the room,
grab my towel,kiss AG on the cheek,
(or at least tried to,because he would scream whenever I get near him),
take a bath, put on some clean clothes, eat breakfast,
watch series of Hindustan, You-Tubing, blog-hopping,
have my lunch, fighting over a remote control,
more Hindustan and more You-Tubing,texting,
Tya gets back from school, fight over the lappie,
StarWorld Marathon, texting, have my dinner,
tuck AG to bed with the same bedtime stories,
watch the same videos of friends in hp,
late night You-Tubing, texting, and at the end of the day force myself to sleep.
See, I do not have a life.
And I need one pronto.
Everyday I'll wake up at 10am to the screaming of AG,
grumble,check my hp and find my way out of the room,
grab my towel,kiss AG on the cheek,
(or at least tried to,because he would scream whenever I get near him),
take a bath, put on some clean clothes, eat breakfast,
watch series of Hindustan, You-Tubing, blog-hopping,
have my lunch, fighting over a remote control,
more Hindustan and more You-Tubing,texting,
Tya gets back from school, fight over the lappie,
StarWorld Marathon, texting, have my dinner,
tuck AG to bed with the same bedtime stories,
watch the same videos of friends in hp,
late night You-Tubing, texting, and at the end of the day force myself to sleep.
See, I do not have a life.
And I need one pronto.
March 3, 2010
Beware: Whine Alert.
There's several things bothering me at the moment. Like,my summons that I haven't paid and I have to pay it before 14th of March,or else my I wont be able to access my results. In order to pay the stupid summons,I need money. Damn.
And oh, I haven't had proper sleep for 5 nights in a row now. It's really disturbing because I'm sick. I've running nose which won't stop running no matter how hard I yelled at it. And I think I've brain tumor too. I'm no med expert but ur head can't ache this much unless u have a tumor or something like that,right?
My mom just won't stop nagging and she nags over ridiculous things ever. I don't mean to be rude but I find it rather annoying at times. I love you with all my heart, Ibu but all these ridiculous nagging's gotta stop.
Little AG? Oh he loves to make my life as hellish as possible. He screams whenever I touches the damn remote,he screams even more every time I refuse to imitate his favorite cartoons.He must have his fave channel on 24/7 (even when he's sleeping) or he'll run amok around the house and starts throwing things at people. btw,he's only 3. Oh and the best part is, he thinks he's a superhero. I tried to kill myself the other day, but AG's screaming was too loud I couldn't focus. He's one spoilt brat, thanks to Atuk and Nenek.
Tya? Well,she's not much of a help either. She gets on my nerve every single time she opens her mouth. She's 15 now and she thinks she's big enough to do as she please. She shouts all the time and kept saying that the world is unfair. Y know that phase? Guess what lil sis,been there and done that. She dropped the f-bomb a couple of times too. I swear I almost slapped her the other day. Talk about the joy of being the big sis.
*Sigh*
I am missing those familiar faces too.
And oh, I haven't had proper sleep for 5 nights in a row now. It's really disturbing because I'm sick. I've running nose which won't stop running no matter how hard I yelled at it. And I think I've brain tumor too. I'm no med expert but ur head can't ache this much unless u have a tumor or something like that,right?
My mom just won't stop nagging and she nags over ridiculous things ever. I don't mean to be rude but I find it rather annoying at times. I love you with all my heart, Ibu but all these ridiculous nagging's gotta stop.
Little AG? Oh he loves to make my life as hellish as possible. He screams whenever I touches the damn remote,he screams even more every time I refuse to imitate his favorite cartoons.He must have his fave channel on 24/7 (even when he's sleeping) or he'll run amok around the house and starts throwing things at people. btw,he's only 3. Oh and the best part is, he thinks he's a superhero. I tried to kill myself the other day, but AG's screaming was too loud I couldn't focus. He's one spoilt brat, thanks to Atuk and Nenek.
Tya? Well,she's not much of a help either. She gets on my nerve every single time she opens her mouth. She's 15 now and she thinks she's big enough to do as she please. She shouts all the time and kept saying that the world is unfair. Y know that phase? Guess what lil sis,been there and done that. She dropped the f-bomb a couple of times too. I swear I almost slapped her the other day. Talk about the joy of being the big sis.
*Sigh*
I am missing those familiar faces too.
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