13,416.

Lima ratus lima puluh sembilan hari,

dan si cengeng pun menangis lagi.

Dasar cengeng.

Day #3

Gahh. What the fuck is wrong with all these people? He's not deaf ! He's not stupid ! Stop talking to him like he's some kind of a three-year-old. Please. That man is in pain, goddammit ! Seriously, am I the only one who is not blind around here ?

Day #2

As I fix my eyes at the sight of him bedridden, I immediately felt something. Something so strong, its almost surreal. Demmit. What is this uneasy feeling? Its not just sympathy. More like, pure helplessness, knowing that there is nothing I can do to ease his burden. Nothing. Have you the slightest idea of what that feels like? Yeah. It sucks. Big time. And I hate that I'm genetically programmed to feel this way. I hate it. 

Day #1

I behold liquid drugs forced into every inch of his veins. Needles & pins re-stabbing his hands numerous times.  They're so wrinkled that they hardly resembles skin anymore. So hoarse, yet so so pale at the same time. I can't bear to watch, really . He is now like some kind of mannequin ( or at least being treated as one ). Just laying, in silence. Hardly uttering. A living corpse, almost. He's in a major amount of pain. Oh I can tell. And those men in white - though they seem to be in such a hassle working against the clock ( saving lives, I supposed ) along with their fancy medical toys - I think they have forgotten one little important fact. My grandfather is still alive.

Poetry tu ada banyak jenis.

Kate Nash

Nicest Thing

All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand

When I was upset

I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met
I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit

That nobody else could see

Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,

Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen

And I wish that we could see if we could be something

Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

p/s: ada tak sapa sapa yg pernah buat kau rasa nervous tahap gampang?

       buat kau rasa macam oksigen tak pernah cukup bila dia dekat?

       buat kau rasa macam nak senyum jek tanpa perlu ada sebabnya?

       buat jantung kau rasa macam kena siat-siat bila dia pergi?

       buat kau rasa macam "sial. apasal lah comel sangat bila dia gelak ni" ?

       buat kau rasa nak mimpi benda yang paling absurd, paling out of this world?

       :)

       

       ye, aku tahu.

       perasaan yang even poet paling legend pun tak dapat nak describe dengan details.

       perasaan yang ahh-- kacau lah.

       dan kalau kau pernah/sedang rasa, lagu ini buat kau.

       ye, kau. 

       

       :)

Finger-pointing at yourself?

Apa kau rasa bila tengok gambar ni?

Exactly.

Macam life in general lah -- kusut. celaru. serabut. 

Hari-hari ada je benda kena pikir.

Hari-hari --

selagi kau masih ada nafas.

Entri ni tak bertujuan.

Macam life in general jugak.

Hari-hari kau kena buat something,

atas dasar buat something.

Forced. Or choose to.

Suka. Or pretend to.

Lie. Or being lied to.

Kau sendiri pilih benda-benda kecik ni.

Benda-benda kecik, yg kadang2 kau pun tak paham.

Benda-benda kecik, yg sebenarnya tak kecik langsung.

Benda-benda kecik, yg boleh ubah life kau macam tu je.

Kau. Aku.

Kita semua akan mati someday.

So bagitau aku,

this whole thing --

WHAT'S THE POINT ANYWAY?

FYI

With you,
I really feel like I'm in the presence of something outside the rest of my life.
Higher than the rest of my life. 


p/s: only with you.