No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Then you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world, with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it; for I love you so
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O, if, I say, you look upon this verse
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse.
But let your love even with my life decay,
Lest the wise world should look into your moan
And mock you with me after I am gone.
Un Soneto, Número Setenta y Uno.
W.Shakespeare.
March 31, 2010
Its Not Always About The 18th.
March 30, 2010
March 22, 2010
Caramel Cream Frap.
oh bebeh, sing me Seaside and ai janji ai tak cari lain.
yer yanggg, ai tak tipu yu. ai janji okay. HAHA
Subtle,Not.
as i enter the small space some would call a room, i can even smell myself.
being denial, i refuse to admit that the scent still lingers on.
and it smelled of nothing, but pure sin.
March 17, 2010
Reminisce, Regrets And Everything In Between.
I was packing up stuff for Nilai when I came across some old stuff, some really interesting stuff that caught my attention. Photos, old CDs, movie tickets (yeah, I like keeping them), Birthday Cards, silly love letters (okay,sangat memalukan), scribblings and notes in all sorts of sizes and shapes. Going through all of these stuff really reminds me of the good old times and the not-so-good one. You know, kindergarten admirer, highschool friends, favourite teachers, childhood soulmates, crushes, sworn-dead foes, ex-boyfriends. Stuff like that. The journey's been a lil bit rough here and there but I've gotta admit that at times, I do miss certain moment from the past.
I miss our very own group of cliques during highschool. Alia, Myra, Wedges, Fazleen and me. The Lutchies, thats what we used to call ourselves. Skipped classes together and we never missed having recess together. 5 of us, promised to stick together after high school. We even planned our Uni applications, so that hopefully all of us are chosen to go to the same Uni. Heh. Talk about wishful thinking eh. I still remember every movie we ever watched together, oh how could I ever forget those laughters and tears we shed together. I do miss them every now and then,but I guess there's nothing I can do about it. We all moved on with our lives, moved on with what fate had in store for all 5 of us.
And then there's the ex-boyfie. A total jerk but hey we used to have really great time together. Khuzairy, you can be a major pain in the ass at times but I loved you. Well at least I love you enough to make it until more than 2 years. Never a romeo but understood me well. You do know how to make me feel important,and thats what I like about you. Demmit. Its been what, almost 2 years since the break-up but I still do missed the late-night conversations we used to have. It was fun. You'll listen to me all night long. Gila,orang suruh tidur taknak. Haha. We never had enough of ourselves, and oh among the stuff I came across was this familiar perfume bottle. It was his. Aishh.
Okay,moving on. There were tonnes of Birthday Cards from my childhood bestfriend, Shad. I love her a lot you know. We went to the same tuition center just to see each other. We went to different school so tuition was our only hope back then,even if it was addmaths. She'd make me do all those equations I really hate. She really looks after me. And oh Lissy-Boy. She was a part of me and Shad. We used to do everything together. The three of us. Lis will drive us around the town,hitting places you would never imagine,just for the fun of it. The beach, museum, photo booth, you name it. We've been there and done that. Oh they are my wildan. I really love them more than any other friends I've ever had but I sucked at showing my feelings. I never showed how much I cared for them. Silly me. I screwed up,big time. That was totally my bad. Oh god. I could just go on with this forever.
Hm,so there I was, in the red room of mine going through all of this stuff. Smiling, all by myself. Things are indeed way different than it were back then. I've met new friends and they are lovely all the same. Sure, some of them are still hanging in my life and others just coming back and keeps on asking for second chance. And you know what, I might actually give them what they wanted. A second chance. Because really,its what everyone needs, including me.
I miss our very own group of cliques during highschool. Alia, Myra, Wedges, Fazleen and me. The Lutchies, thats what we used to call ourselves. Skipped classes together and we never missed having recess together. 5 of us, promised to stick together after high school. We even planned our Uni applications, so that hopefully all of us are chosen to go to the same Uni. Heh. Talk about wishful thinking eh. I still remember every movie we ever watched together, oh how could I ever forget those laughters and tears we shed together. I do miss them every now and then,but I guess there's nothing I can do about it. We all moved on with our lives, moved on with what fate had in store for all 5 of us.
And then there's the ex-boyfie. A total jerk but hey we used to have really great time together. Khuzairy, you can be a major pain in the ass at times but I loved you. Well at least I love you enough to make it until more than 2 years. Never a romeo but understood me well. You do know how to make me feel important,and thats what I like about you. Demmit. Its been what, almost 2 years since the break-up but I still do missed the late-night conversations we used to have. It was fun. You'll listen to me all night long. Gila,orang suruh tidur taknak. Haha. We never had enough of ourselves, and oh among the stuff I came across was this familiar perfume bottle. It was his. Aishh.
Okay,moving on. There were tonnes of Birthday Cards from my childhood bestfriend, Shad. I love her a lot you know. We went to the same tuition center just to see each other. We went to different school so tuition was our only hope back then,even if it was addmaths. She'd make me do all those equations I really hate. She really looks after me. And oh Lissy-Boy. She was a part of me and Shad. We used to do everything together. The three of us. Lis will drive us around the town,hitting places you would never imagine,just for the fun of it. The beach, museum, photo booth, you name it. We've been there and done that. Oh they are my wildan. I really love them more than any other friends I've ever had but I sucked at showing my feelings. I never showed how much I cared for them. Silly me. I screwed up,big time. That was totally my bad. Oh god. I could just go on with this forever.
Hm,so there I was, in the red room of mine going through all of this stuff. Smiling, all by myself. Things are indeed way different than it were back then. I've met new friends and they are lovely all the same. Sure, some of them are still hanging in my life and others just coming back and keeps on asking for second chance. And you know what, I might actually give them what they wanted. A second chance. Because really,its what everyone needs, including me.
March 13, 2010
Did You?
Did you notice my fears?
p/s: Feeling a bit lost lately. I know its not the end of the world and I really shouldn't make a big deal out of it. I know things will be okay and I know I will be okay. I have to be okay. But hey,try putting yourself in my shoes for a moment, you'll know what it feels like. You know, its time like this that sometimes strangers are far more comforting than loved ones. Hm, I guess I am hitting rock bottom, alone.
March 11, 2010
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