4:45 am. 29012011. Kuantan.
Slapped in the face by series of flashbacks.
Tiba-tiba got overwhelmed by these feelings yang I can't quite put into words.
Apa entah perasaan ni. Sial lah. Dasar si cengeng tak kuat semangat!
Aku pikir aku dah ok but oh boy, was I wrong!
Felt a sudden relief as the bus slowly approaches the Terminal.
Tak sangka 1 bangunan buruk yang bersepah dengan manusia-manusia
nokturnal boleh buat aku rasa lega.
Kesian ibu kena fetch aku at this hour.
I hope she knows that her kids love her; I love her.
In the car silence fills the morning air.
The both of us; we choose not to talk, I guess.
Stares blankly at the empty roads.
Sounds coming from the radio seems to fade away.
Pikiran melayang entah ke mana.
And then, we passed by it ; kubur arwah Atuk.
Oh shucks.
Masa tu, I missed him with an intensity that felt like physical pain.
Benda ni kau takkan paham kalau kau tak pernah rasa. Rindu. Sangat.
Langkah kaki pertama masa nak masuk rumah tu paling pedih.
The scent of home doesn't really help either. Shucks.
Everything about this place reminds me of him.
Unopened letters with his name on it. His photos on the wall. His wheelchair.
Our living room ; yang mana satu ketika nya pernah diletakkan katil Atuk kat luar ni.
Our bathroom ; yang mana aku dgn Nenek pernah papah Atuk sebab nak mandikan dia.
Ya Allah, he really is gone now, isn't he?
tears came along when i read this post.
ReplyDeletemy condolences to you and your family for your deep loss
be strong my dear.
i know how it feels.
even if they say with time you feel better.
but mine, was the same. even after almost two years, it hurts badly.
you will miss him alot
cry if you have to but never miss him too much
because he will feel sad to see you that way
always remember Allah loves him more,
and he's at a better place.
be strong
insya allah, slowly :)
i pray for your atuk
may allah bless him
-al-fatihah-