Note-to-self : think, before act.

“Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices."

Three days ago, if I heard this kind of shit coming from anyone,
I would tell them to fuck off. Literally.


But at this very moment,  I believe every single word,
with every inch of my soul (that is, if I still have any)


Ah, all these emotions.
Rage. Hatred. Frustration. (but mostly, regrets.)


Sadly, the only question that keeps lingering in my head is,
"Dude, what the fuck were you thinking?"


And, even more sadly, I keep denying the answer that I've always had,
"The problem is, I wasn't even thinking"

May, you have been such a fine gentleman.

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:)

Laughing matter.

And I actually thought you had enough. 
Funny thing, no?

Aku nak tanya.

Pernah tak kau rasa suka seseorang sangat sampai hati kau rasa nak pecah?
Pernah?

Hey Superman.

She likes you. A lot.

Lebih dari rasa suka biasa-biasa.

Lebih dari seorang kawan, tentunya.

Lebih dari yang dia sendiri sangka.

Yeah. I guess she really likes you.

For as long as she can remember. 

Mhmm. That long.

But its always been difficult with you.

Susah sangat.
Selalu sakit. 
Nearly impossible.
And this is breaking her heart.
You broke her heart, Superman.
Can't you see her troubled soul right through those eyes?
Didn't you hear her loneliness screaming in your ears?
But she endured.
She still is enduring.
The question is -

how much more can she take?
and how many years more will she have to wait?
Her heart is all black and blue. 
Her heart is always black and blue, when it comes to you.




So after a while,

after quite a while,

she finally decided to distract herself from you.
Distraction in the form of another living piece of flesh.
Another guy.
She chooses to focus on him instead.
He who is the total opposite of her.
He who doesn't fit her typical idea of a guy.
He who gives her feelings that people write novels about.
He who makes her goes crazy over those little gestures of his.
He who is a definite spoilsport, yet amusing in his own way.
He who makes her listens to Kate Nash's The Nicest Thing again and again. 

He who is....much more easier.

Not that easy. But definitely easier.

Senang. Tak sakit.

Mungkin belum lagi.

Mungkin belum. 
Tapi buat waktu ini, she is content.
Ini sudah cukup buat dia.
Sure. He's no Superman.
But he makes her happy.
At least for now.
Who cares about the future?
Now is what matters anyway.








P/S : Good luck on saving the world, Superman.
        Seems like you're having a good time.

You tell me.

They say, you know when you know.
Well I don't know.
Macamana?

Objek bernama perempuan.

apa aku ini perempuan yang posisinya kau ubah-letak seikut suka?
apa aku ini perempuan yang kau guna bila rasa kosong mencarik pangkal jiwa?
apa aku ini perempuan tidak punya rasa?

aku ini perempuan, sayang.
bukan objek.

bila sudah pasti benar sudut letaknya aku,
bila ruang kecil untuk aku itu sudah kau siap kan,
khabarkan -- aku tunggu.

kau tahu,
aku pasti tunggu.
kerana aku ini perempuan.
cuma perempuan, sayang.
bukan objek.